I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
