Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
