I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Come on in and take your pants off
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