3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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