I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
