so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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