Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
