You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I would fuck him just for his dog
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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