You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
