I wish my penis had an off switch
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
