Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
