Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
im about as happy as oj after his trial
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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