Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
