It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Randomize
