Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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