dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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