he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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