haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
