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You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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