Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
