We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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