You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
fuck your aforementioned shoe
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
what is it with giant penises always finding me
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
