He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
