i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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