you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
