day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
