Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Best friends brother. Beat that.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
