how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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