just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
