drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
