there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
