that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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