Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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