Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
