Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
