You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
