kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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