his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
