We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
