I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
