Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
