the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize