is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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