You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
