I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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