it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
