Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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