i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize