Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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