is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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