You were right. It hurts to walk today.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
