Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
