dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
