How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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