Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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