Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
