He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
