My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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