Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
