Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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